Seven Steps to Creating Your Postpartum Wardrobe...

I wish I had an 8 weeks postpartum photo to share showing my bikini ready body, but sadly I do not. In fact, 18 months after my second baby, I still walk into my closet and a row of pants whisper “We don’t fit you.” Guess what? That’s totally normal and ok. The truth is mamas, your body changes after a baby. My friend who IS back to her pre-baby weight swears her rib cage expanded after two kids.
 
If you got back to your pre-preggo size fairly quickly, rock on with your bad self. However, if you’re struggling with an extra 15 or 20 lbs like many of us, I’ve got some advice for you. Buy some new clothes! That’s right. Go shopping. Last summer, I came out to the pool in a one piece Speedo because my other bathing suits did not fit. My sister looked at me horrified and said, “WHAT are you wearing?” I said “ Well nothing fits. “ She said “Well then go get some new suits! I'm not looking at an ugly speedo all summer.”

And I did just that. I bought two new tankinis that I loved and felt good in.

Here’s a list of tips for my postpartum Mamas struggling to get dressed in be morning:

1. Find a friend who is similar to your size and ask if she has any pants you can borrow. My best friend Katie and I shared our maternity clothes, but also an “after baby” bin of dress pants.

2. But some staples for work. Two pairs of black pants and one pair of gray should do it.

3. Get a new pair of jeans! Maternity jeans look terrible once you’re no longer pregnant. Old navy has jeans for $25-$30 and have a variety of styles to suit various body types.

4. Get some wrap dresses. Super comfy and will still fit up or down a few pounds.

5. Buy some V-necks, plain shirts that you can dress up or down.

6. Wear whatever you makes you feel like you again- Makeup, heels, fun earrings, etc.

7. Know you’re awesome!  You made a person. That little person loves you , even if your skinny pants don’t.

Love,
Kendall

It goes too fast...

“It goes too fast.” This is a phrase a mother of two young children hears often. It’s a constant reminder the years of having babies and toddlers flies by in the blink of an eye. When I hear it , I usually respond with “ yea yea , I know. “

Recently though, it’s as if the universe is constantly reminding me of that phrase. I saw a coworker in 3 different stores 3 times in a week. Once at Target, and twice at the food store. All of the times, she was shopping alone and I had my 3 year old and 1 year old in tow. Her kids are in college and I envied her pushing her shopping cart all alone, while I tried to get through my list while simultaneously throwing goldfish at my children.  She said to me “I remember those days." She said it as if she missed them. Really? I am thinking to myself. You are in Target-  ALONE!
Then we went to Disney and constantly people are commenting “Enjoy this, it goes too fast.”  Somehow, I don’t think you can appreciate this phrase until your kids are grown. Because you’re tired mama. It’s hard to enjoy every second. Sometimes kids are hard and demanding and it doesn’t feel like it’s going fast. It feels exhausting.

Last week, I held a friends 3 month old baby and I thought “Aww, I remember when my babies were this small. It goes too fast.” Dammit ! I thought the phrase!!!
So in an effort to "Enjoy this," I’ve started to stop and pause. When my toddler is splashing all over the bathroom in the tub, I laugh and splash with him. I hold onto the snuggle time a little longer. I listen to my 3 year old sing the god awful “daddy finger “ song because she thinks it’s great.

Because we all need to “Enjoy this. It goes too fast.”

Love,

Kendall
 

It's a long nine months...

In the past few months, I have had a few first time pregnant friends talk to me about being pregnant. The consensus being the same for all of them. Pregnancy sucks. There I said it. Pregnancy is awful. If you were one of the people who walked through nine months looking and feeling amazing, then this particular blog is not for you (and the rest of us hate you). For starters, most of the time you feel sick as a dog, for the first few months. It's like being hungover all the time without the fun night before and the only thing you can tolerate is Gatorade and crackers. Then usually somebody comments, "Gatorade probably isn't good for the baby?" Oh yea? Well it's the only thing the baby tolerates so stop talking. Not to mention, pregnancy migraines, carpal tunnel, swollen feet, weight gain, acne, etc.  Oh did I mention, you can't take Advil while pregnant? You can have Tylenol which basically has the same effect as eating skittles when a full blown migraine comes on. Put all that together and you have a pretty miserable nine months to survive. 

I was talking to a friend and she was expressing how crappy she felt and said she felt fat and uncomfortable. I commiserated but I said, "When this baby comes, you won't believe how much you love your baby. You won't care about anything else except your baby." A few weeks after her birth, she told me "You were right. I can't believe how much I love my baby." 

Two things I am sure of:  Pregnancy is really hard. It is the first of many sacrifices you will make for your baby. The second being You will love your baby more than anyone/ anything in your life. You really can't imagine until you hold your baby for the first time. 

So hang in there pregnant mamas. You're going to get through this. You are going to get to the Finish Line with the most precious gift the world has to offer.

Love,
Kendall

"Good try, Mommy!"

A few weeks ago, I went to the beach with my family. My Uncle was showing all of us how to paddle board. He took my daughter and nephew (who are both 3) while they sat, and then a few of the adults gave it a try. I wasn't even planning on taking a turn, but then my daughter , Mackenzie said, "Ok Mommy, it's your turn." So I gave it a try.

I actually got up fairly easily and was able to paddle (we were in the bay so don't be overly impressed by my skills).  Then I took a turn too sharply and fell off the board. All of a sudden, I hear a little voice from the dock yelling, "Good try Mommy! It's ok! Try again!" It's Mackenzie, cheering me on. I smiled, got back up, and paddled back. 

The rest of the day I thought about how Mackenzie had cheered for me and encouraged me to try again. Where did she learn that? Well, from me, her Dad, her Aunt, her Noni, her Grandma, etc.  It made me think what kind of example I would be setting if I told her I was afraid to try, I didn't want to wear a bathing suit, I was worried I'd fall and feel embarrassed.  
Kids do what you do. You can't expect them to be confident if you're not. You can't expect them to eat healthy if you don't. You can't expect them to try new things if you won't.

Always remember, your kids are watching you! Be a good example. Teach them to take risks, fall and get up again, eat healthy but never turn down a cupcake. Be a kind person. Do all the things you want them to do. Be the person you hope they will be. 

Love,

Kendall

You will know your baby better than anyone...

“You will know your baby better than anyone.” I’ve heard my mom say this countless times. She tells all mothers this, and she says it repeatedly. 

I started whining at my sister about 6 months ago. As soon as she mentioned the word, preschool. “I don’t understand why she has to go! She’s only turning three in July. Why can’t we wait until next year?"  When that had no effect, “Well, then don’t sign her up on my days. I don’t want to lose time with her.” I watch my niece and nephew two days a week during the school year. My mom does two days, and her mother in law takes the fifth day. Well, here’s the other side of family care. 

I just really didn’t want Kenzie to go to preschool. I LOVE my days with my niece and nephew, or as I usually call them, “My friends.” I didn’t want to miss a minute of it. So I was arguing with my sister about it, telling her that it was a dumb idea. What if Kenzie’s not ready?  What if she doesn’t like it? My sister calmly, and then not so calmly repeatedly told me it was going to be good for her, she was definitely ready, and she would like it. She also wanted to know what was wrong with me because why wouldn't I want a break in the day?

So, it turns out to be MY day the FIRST DAY we have to drop her off at preschool. I had total anxiety about this for the two weeks leading up to it. What if she cried? What if she was upset? What if she got mad at me for leaving her? What if it destroyed our trust? The list went on. I explained all my fears to my mom, and you know what? She backed me up. I told her that if Kenzie cried, I wasn’t going to leave her and my mom said, “I wouldn’t either Kate. I don’t think she’s ready. I think we should wait until January.” One of us relayed this message to my sister, who not so calmly told us we HAD to drop her off. “What are you doing to do if I don’t, Kendall? Fire me? You can’t. I’m your sister.” See- downside of family care. Your family can give you a hard time about basic things that a regular babysitter wouldn’t.  Kendall again said, “She’s ready. She’ll like it. It will be good for her.”

And you know what… She was right BECAUSE SHE’S THE MOM AND THE MOM ALWAYS KNOWS. Kenzie was totally ready. We debated between ballerinas and unicorn dresses, we talked about how she was going to have SOOO MUCH FUN, and we headed off. I was still very anxious. We walked in, and she got a little overwhelmed with all the people. She asked me three times if I was going to come back for her.  Then we walked into her classroom, and her teacher greeted her warmly and told her she would have fun and make new friends. She gave me a big squeeze, asked again if I was coming back, and said, “Ok. Bye.” To my surprise, she didn’t cry. I didn’t either. 

So to all our mamas out there, remember this, “You will know your baby better than anyone.” Remember it when friends and family (even well meaning friends and family) give you their opinions on breastfeeding, on co-sleeping, and parenting choices. This is your baby. You will know. Trust your instincts. 

xo,
Katie

The Biggest Mom Shamer of Them All...

A few weeks ago my daughter had five cavities. Yes that’s right, five. Five cavities which needed to be filled either using laughing gas or sedation. While most of my mom friends were supportive, there was one voice who was not. She told me it was my fault. She said I gave my daughter too much juice. She told me I let her fall asleep without brushing her  teeth. I let her eat too many goldfish. I gave her lollipops at the bank.  Who is this judgemental person you ask? It’s me, myself, and I. 

You see mamas, we judge ourselves much harder than we do other moms. I was so upset at the dentist and repeatedly blamed myself for my daughter’s cavities. I called a few friends and a few of them told me they had similar experiences with their kids. Did I judge them the way I judged myself?  No; of course not.  I was relieved to hear someone else had been there.   Even the dentist said “Kids get cavities, it happens.” 

Whenever  I see another child throwing a tantrum at Target, I think two things. “Ugh, I feel so bad for this mom” and “Glad it’s not just my kid who behaves this way. “ 

Does mom shaming happen?  You bet. People make dumb comments about breastfeeding or not, co-sleeping, cry it out, whatever. But no one is truly judging your parenting skills the way you are mama. 90% of the time, they have been where you are and they sympathize.  

I am extremely fortunate to have a great husband, family and friends who remind me I am doing a good job as a mom, even when I feel like I’m not. 

Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself you’re doing a great job. Reach out to your fellow mamas when you need support. You got this. 

Lady and the Tramp

Lady and the Tramp

Last summer I was very pregnant, as my son was born at the END of August. This summer I realize how uncomfortable I was last year being so big and pregnant.  It reminded me how hard being pregnant was and I thought of a conversation I had with one of my best friends a few months ago. My friend Katie (who has two kids) called me after watching “Lady and the Tramp” with her daughter.  A classic movie. She was infuriated because in the movie the husband tells his wife “he doesn't want her walking the dog in her condition.” Her “condition” is she is about 12 weeks pregnant, give or take. Now here is where I add, my friend Katie is a Veterinarian and was performing surgery on 100 pound dogs at 9 months pregnant.  So of course we had a good laugh about this movie made in 1955.

Now, I am not saying you shouldn’t walk your dog pregnant.  However, it did make me think about how far the pendulum has swung in the other direction. If Disney had a pregnant character in 2017, she would probably be exericising  throughout her pregnancy, working until she was 39 weeks and expected to get back into shape 3 months after giving birth.  In my opinion, we have forgotten as a society what a big deal having a baby actually is.  Being pregnant is really hard. You feel sick, exhausted, everything aches, you might be swollen, etc. Let’s not forget the mamas who carried twins, you deserve a heroic medal!

When you actually have the baby, you are beyond exhausted, in physical pain and adjusting to this new life. My mom always said, “Someone has to mother the mother.” This could not be more true. New moms need help. They need food. They need support. They need to know how fabulous they are just by being a mom!

So to all my fellow mamas out there:  When you feel like you cannot do it all, keep the house clean, exercise, make pinterest like chalkboards for your kids first day of school, know this… 60 years ago someone would have walked your dog as you laid on the couch in your first trimester.

You’re amazing. You’re fabulous. You’re a MOM!