Seven Steps to Creating Your Postpartum Wardrobe...

I wish I had an 8 weeks postpartum photo to share showing my bikini ready body, but sadly I do not. In fact, 18 months after my second baby, I still walk into my closet and a row of pants whisper “We don’t fit you.” Guess what? That’s totally normal and ok. The truth is mamas, your body changes after a baby. My friend who IS back to her pre-baby weight swears her rib cage expanded after two kids.
 
If you got back to your pre-preggo size fairly quickly, rock on with your bad self. However, if you’re struggling with an extra 15 or 20 lbs like many of us, I’ve got some advice for you. Buy some new clothes! That’s right. Go shopping. Last summer, I came out to the pool in a one piece Speedo because my other bathing suits did not fit. My sister looked at me horrified and said, “WHAT are you wearing?” I said “ Well nothing fits. “ She said “Well then go get some new suits! I'm not looking at an ugly speedo all summer.”

And I did just that. I bought two new tankinis that I loved and felt good in.

Here’s a list of tips for my postpartum Mamas struggling to get dressed in be morning:

1. Find a friend who is similar to your size and ask if she has any pants you can borrow. My best friend Katie and I shared our maternity clothes, but also an “after baby” bin of dress pants.

2. But some staples for work. Two pairs of black pants and one pair of gray should do it.

3. Get a new pair of jeans! Maternity jeans look terrible once you’re no longer pregnant. Old navy has jeans for $25-$30 and have a variety of styles to suit various body types.

4. Get some wrap dresses. Super comfy and will still fit up or down a few pounds.

5. Buy some V-necks, plain shirts that you can dress up or down.

6. Wear whatever you makes you feel like you again- Makeup, heels, fun earrings, etc.

7. Know you’re awesome!  You made a person. That little person loves you , even if your skinny pants don’t.

Love,
Kendall

It's a long nine months...

In the past few months, I have had a few first time pregnant friends talk to me about being pregnant. The consensus being the same for all of them. Pregnancy sucks. There I said it. Pregnancy is awful. If you were one of the people who walked through nine months looking and feeling amazing, then this particular blog is not for you (and the rest of us hate you). For starters, most of the time you feel sick as a dog, for the first few months. It's like being hungover all the time without the fun night before and the only thing you can tolerate is Gatorade and crackers. Then usually somebody comments, "Gatorade probably isn't good for the baby?" Oh yea? Well it's the only thing the baby tolerates so stop talking. Not to mention, pregnancy migraines, carpal tunnel, swollen feet, weight gain, acne, etc.  Oh did I mention, you can't take Advil while pregnant? You can have Tylenol which basically has the same effect as eating skittles when a full blown migraine comes on. Put all that together and you have a pretty miserable nine months to survive. 

I was talking to a friend and she was expressing how crappy she felt and said she felt fat and uncomfortable. I commiserated but I said, "When this baby comes, you won't believe how much you love your baby. You won't care about anything else except your baby." A few weeks after her birth, she told me "You were right. I can't believe how much I love my baby." 

Two things I am sure of:  Pregnancy is really hard. It is the first of many sacrifices you will make for your baby. The second being You will love your baby more than anyone/ anything in your life. You really can't imagine until you hold your baby for the first time. 

So hang in there pregnant mamas. You're going to get through this. You are going to get to the Finish Line with the most precious gift the world has to offer.

Love,
Kendall

The Biggest Mom Shamer of Them All...

A few weeks ago my daughter had five cavities. Yes that’s right, five. Five cavities which needed to be filled either using laughing gas or sedation. While most of my mom friends were supportive, there was one voice who was not. She told me it was my fault. She said I gave my daughter too much juice. She told me I let her fall asleep without brushing her  teeth. I let her eat too many goldfish. I gave her lollipops at the bank.  Who is this judgemental person you ask? It’s me, myself, and I. 

You see mamas, we judge ourselves much harder than we do other moms. I was so upset at the dentist and repeatedly blamed myself for my daughter’s cavities. I called a few friends and a few of them told me they had similar experiences with their kids. Did I judge them the way I judged myself?  No; of course not.  I was relieved to hear someone else had been there.   Even the dentist said “Kids get cavities, it happens.” 

Whenever  I see another child throwing a tantrum at Target, I think two things. “Ugh, I feel so bad for this mom” and “Glad it’s not just my kid who behaves this way. “ 

Does mom shaming happen?  You bet. People make dumb comments about breastfeeding or not, co-sleeping, cry it out, whatever. But no one is truly judging your parenting skills the way you are mama. 90% of the time, they have been where you are and they sympathize.  

I am extremely fortunate to have a great husband, family and friends who remind me I am doing a good job as a mom, even when I feel like I’m not. 

Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself you’re doing a great job. Reach out to your fellow mamas when you need support. You got this. 

Lady and the Tramp

Lady and the Tramp

Last summer I was very pregnant, as my son was born at the END of August. This summer I realize how uncomfortable I was last year being so big and pregnant.  It reminded me how hard being pregnant was and I thought of a conversation I had with one of my best friends a few months ago. My friend Katie (who has two kids) called me after watching “Lady and the Tramp” with her daughter.  A classic movie. She was infuriated because in the movie the husband tells his wife “he doesn't want her walking the dog in her condition.” Her “condition” is she is about 12 weeks pregnant, give or take. Now here is where I add, my friend Katie is a Veterinarian and was performing surgery on 100 pound dogs at 9 months pregnant.  So of course we had a good laugh about this movie made in 1955.

Now, I am not saying you shouldn’t walk your dog pregnant.  However, it did make me think about how far the pendulum has swung in the other direction. If Disney had a pregnant character in 2017, she would probably be exericising  throughout her pregnancy, working until she was 39 weeks and expected to get back into shape 3 months after giving birth.  In my opinion, we have forgotten as a society what a big deal having a baby actually is.  Being pregnant is really hard. You feel sick, exhausted, everything aches, you might be swollen, etc. Let’s not forget the mamas who carried twins, you deserve a heroic medal!

When you actually have the baby, you are beyond exhausted, in physical pain and adjusting to this new life. My mom always said, “Someone has to mother the mother.” This could not be more true. New moms need help. They need food. They need support. They need to know how fabulous they are just by being a mom!

So to all my fellow mamas out there:  When you feel like you cannot do it all, keep the house clean, exercise, make pinterest like chalkboards for your kids first day of school, know this… 60 years ago someone would have walked your dog as you laid on the couch in your first trimester.

You’re amazing. You’re fabulous. You’re a MOM!

There is no good time to visit a new mom.

There is no good time to visit a new mom. I'll say it again. There is no good time to visit a new mom…unless you come bearing chicken parm.

After my second baby, I came to realize why people should not visit new moms. The sole reason being there is no good time of day to visit. Let me explain. At any time of the day, the baby could be sleeping and therefore I could be sleeping. At 10 am, I could be sleeping with the baby, at 2 pm or 6 pm. Get what I'm saying?   We had visitors (or sleep stealers as I like to think of them) come visit after my second baby was born. Also let me add, I’m not Martha Stewart on a good day. Never mind when I just made a person. My sister says that, "You did a good job, you made a person.”  Pretty amazing when you put it that way right?  So I found it stressful to have to pick up my house before these visitors came over to make it look like I had it all together when I really wanted to just crawl into a ball and go to sleep.

People mean well but they ask questions like, “How was your birth?  “How’s your older child adjusting?”  Umm… I'm still recovering and actually it's time to go soak my stitches so I'll brb. As for my older child, she doesn't even know what having a sibling means so stop asking her dumb questions. Not to mention my biggest pet peeve of all…when you're breast feeding and people ask, “That baby is eating again?”  Seriously, it made my blood pressure rise or I was just overtired and cranky (another reason to steer clear ).

If someone has an older child, the most helpful thing you can do is take them out of the house. My mom and sister did this frequently which was a huge help.  Bring them to your house, the park, the movies anywhere will do and this gives you time with the baby and possibly some SLEEP!  

A month before my second baby, my friend's mom asked what she could get the baby. I replied “Nothing, can you just make me some chicken parm?” And she did! It was seriously delicious! I’m very grateful to all those who brought me food. New moms are hungry and don't have time to cook. My dad said it best. He said "Kendall, when the baby is 3 months and you feel pretty good, nobody is going to come see the new baby."  I have to agree. The truth is after 12 weeks you feel better, you possibly have slept for 5 hours in a row, you physically don't hurt, and you're ready to pour the coffee and cut the crumb cake for your visitors . So in short, if you decide to go visit a new mom before she is 12 weeks post partum, I suggest you bring her chicken parm.